Day 1

Today was our first full day without Nick here at home with us. The ship he's assigned to has been on deployment since March, and he had to go meet the ship in port somewhere. (I'd say where, but I'm not allowed to.)

I know I've been through all this before, but this time is different. The last time Nick was on a ship, it had just gotten back from deployment, so he was home for a few months before he had to go out to sea. Or he'd go out for a week or two and then be home again for a while. There was a transition period.

We got to Virginia July 23rd. Two weeks and a day later, I'm forced to say goodbye to him for 3 months. We haven't even been in our house for a week, and we don't even have our furniture yet. It's being delivered on Friday. When Nick comes home, he's not even going to recognize his own house. All of that makes this time so much harder. I got dropped off in a strange house in a neighborhood where I don't know my way around, and now I'm completely on my own. I feel so lost. It all happened so fast. I know I should be able to handle this because I was in the Navy myself, and I've been a Navy wife for 9 years, but this shit never gets any easier. You get used to how much it sucks, but it doesn't get easier.

I was ok most of the day because I had some running around to do. I had to take the kids to their school so they could read for one of the teachers. That way, the school knows which class to put them in, and what kind of reading they should be assigned. They both did really well! David (going into 2nd grade) is reading at a 4th grade level, and Abby (going into 3rd grade) is reading at a 4th/5th grade level! After that, I had to go to the school admin building a few miles away and verify our address, and then I had to go pick up our mailbox key from the post office. We headed home after that, and waited for the cable guy to show up. He never did, and is going to have to come another day because they got too busy and didn't have time to get to me. Oh well.

But after all that, I was sitting here and realized that I hadn't really talked to anyone all day. I mean, I talked to the teachers about how well the kids read to her, and I talked to the kids, but you can only talk to people under the age of 10 for so long before you start craving some adult conversation. That's when I really started feeling down today. I was fighting back some tears when I got a phone call from a good friend. So that helped make me feel a little less lonely.

The hardest part of the day is at night. It's past the time that any normal human being would call to talk, the kids are asleep, and I'm laying there alone, tossing and turning because I've gotten used to sleeping next to someone and now he's not there. And then I just feel so empty and alone.

And then I sit here and think about it, and realize that all the other spouses of everyone else on the ship must think I'm ridiculous. Their sailors have been on deployment since March. They've already had a halfway party and are starting to get excited that the deployment is almost over, and here I am crying because I'm not going to see my husband for 3 months. I know, I know... suck it up buttercup. And I will. In a few days. It'll be easier once we have furniture and all of our stuff and I have something to do around the house other than play facebook games.

So that's how Day 1 has been. Not great, but it could've been worse.